Home Stretch: Parenting Kids from 16-21
dirt track date -- Saturday, February 22, 2003 -- 06:38:39 PMI thought this subject deserved its own thread because I have learned so much, and enjoyed reading so much, stories from TPW'ers getting their kids ready to leave home. I've NOT enjoyed the FAFSA stories, but I hope to learn more about the perils of applying for college.
Renamed on 7/24/03.
This thread is tagged: teenagers(All users will see what tags exist for a thread. Please tag carefully!)
I thought the "buy me a beer" label on the action button was very Canadian.
I was telling my 16 year old about dtd's son's app. Neither of us knew what SOPA was, so he looked it up. He read most of the statute, and we talked about the various provisions, what was a good idea and what needed work.
I'm really proud of him for doing his own research, going right to the source, and doing some informed, independent thinking to form his own opinion.
That's terrific Wampus.
J. has secured a paying internship for next summer! She'll be working with a DC firm that specializes in economic research for litigation. She is thrilled. This follows anxious days of rejected applications and interviews that didn't go very well. She was convinced that she'd never find anything.
Good- I just got off the phone w. my son- the only "internship" offer he has gotten is in China and the sponsoring organization wants him (us) to pay $8000 for the privelege.
I really need someone to talk me down- he's so angry at us- just nasty because after paying for his collge expenses in full (he has no loans at all) and he's going to Germany next year for junor year abroad (again at our expense)- we won't shell out 8,000 for a summer program. Spoiled brat. He is working on campus this year- 3 jobs actually- help desk, working on the website for the marketing department and a compute lab assistant. He's not lazy. And then I find myself saying well, maybe (only to myself) because he is so disappointed and frustrated and then I catch myself.
Perhaps- he is looking for something for the summer and in computer science.
Wilma...that is frustrating for both of you. (Not that I blame you!!!) How would you or he feel about a student loan for that?
Also, I would seriously check out the program because that sounds off.
That's a pretty amazing sense of entitlement seeing as he's got no loans AND is going to Germany for his junior year on your dime. I'd be pissed! I don't blame him for wanting to go, but there's no way in hell I'd tolerate that kind of nastiness. You're a better person than I am. I'd have scorched the earth around him with the flames shooting out of my eyeballs. He might be working hard, and that's great, but the deal isn't "I work hard, you pay for whatever the f I want to do, no matter how unreasonable and expensive it may be". Are you also providing a car for him? Because $8000 would also buy a hell of a nice used car.
Actually, most internship programs abroad can be very expensive to participate in. We used to offer a competitive travel grant specifically for students who were wanting to intern abroad. So, if he is onsidering a program abroad, ask them what you get for your money, i.e. do they help with the visa process, do they offer housing or at least have a list of preferred housing options, will someone meet him at the airport/train station, etc. You don't want him just dropped in the middle of a country with no language skills. He can also do an internship in Germany in conjunction with his studies abroad. Since he is already going overseas, I would strongly urge him to look into that, rather than going to China in the summer. Many of the study abroad programs will have some information on how to combine both study and internships.
We try to vet the Chinese internships very closely. It is very difficult to get into China and can be equally difficult to get out if the internship doesn't pan out the way the student had hoped.
A very good internship organization for these sorts of things, especially engineering (and computer science can sometimes come under this heading) is International Cooperative Education out of Menlo Park, CA (ICE Menlo). We have worked with them for years and Gunter and his wife travel the world looking for internship for kids, many of them are paid internships. They do have fees of a couple thousand dollars, but they vet their companies very carefully, many of their internships are paid, they do offer help in finding housing and often have someone meeting the student upon arrival.
Thanks ciao- I did some investigating and after the initial shock- it's not badly priced- they provide housing, visa assitance, some language training, some trips, pick up at airport, transportation to work site, breakdast each day. It's just too much money- or more than I am willing to spend. I thought about bringing up a student loan option- but I figure he can figure that out himself.
Lori- thanks this is exactly what I would say about someone else's kid- but always harder when it is your own. Could we have a little gratitude please.
I completely understand. You want to give them every chance to excel. But at the same time, he's old enough to understand and to say he understands. You can't always get what you want. But he's getting what he needs.
I would still encourage looking into the joint study abroad/internship idea. If there are fees at all, they will be significantly less (if there is any charge at all) since he is already over there. He can probably get info on this from the EAP at his home university.
Yes- I think there is an opputunity for an internship in Germany. He is getting to be near fluent in German and once he is there for a while, I'm sure he will be fluent.Or he can look into an internship after he finishes his junior year there. But it makes no sense to run off to China and then run off to Germany- esp if it's going to cost me a bunch of extra money. Because I want to go to Germany (we have been saving money for us to take a trip while he is there and I want to go on a warm weather vacation and damn it, I'm 52 so I get to spend my money on that.Lori as for the car, our kids don't have one. We let my duaghter take one of our two cars to college her senior year- it was a small inconvenience for us- but made it easier for her to get around to job interviews and just nicer overall. Son we have told if the car is still alive he can take it for his senior year. That's what you get.
ciao- thanks for you input. I liked the site very much. There is a meeting he is going to next week with all the details on the program in Germany. An internship with Seimans had been brought up earlier- but I don't know if that was definate and a certain someone is in a very huffy mood if we ask him questions.