Check this out.Nuisance -- Thursday, August 08, 2002 -- 12:26:06 AM
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I read that to my husband and I was laughing so hard I was crying. He was not as amused as I.
What's up with all the old references in that story, though? The guy is telling the story like it happened last week or a year ago, and last I checked, Spin City has been off the air for a few years (and I miss it).
If I'm making cross-cultural sex sound like a bit of a nightmare: yeah, it was. In this case, once I worked out what was going on, I thought all my problems could be solved by a simple conversation or two, explaining the more free-form nature of western sex, and encouraging my partner along the lines of, "You don't have to act a certain way, you can act however you like! You can relax! Enjoy yourself! Doesn't that sound great?" but that was also a failure to understand the Japanese psyche. It's not liberating for a Japanese person to be told there are no rules, it's frightening. I was inadvertently terrorizing my partner by dropping them into the middle of a scary foreign wilderness and telling them to make do without a map.
Me: First of all, westerners don't always shower or have a bath before sex. However, I will try to accommodate you on this because the idea of sex without showering seemed to horrify everyone I talked to right down to their very bones.
Secondly, when you suggested that I shower the other day, and I said no, I was not rejecting you. I didn't understand that it was your Japanese signal that you wanted to have sex. If I had understood that, I would definitely have said yes.
Seiji: *spits tea all over the table*
Me: …this is one of those deeply unspoken Japanese things that I'm not supposed to talk about directly, isn't it.
I was about to say "He needs a stogie. Then he'd be perfect." -- but then I spotted it.
Now he just need a beer. And his boots should be black.
"...males get round their inferior size by being endowed with a particularly long penis, which means they can inject the female without having to get too close to her chomping beak. The male's sexual organ is actually a bit like a high-pressure fire hose and is normally nearly as long as his body - excluding legs and head."
Heh. I finally found out whether or not cats have bellybuttons. I mean, I always assumed they did, but I could never see them. (Feline navels, that is; cats I have no trouble seeing whatsoever.)