If I'm making cross-cultural sex sound like a bit of a nightmare: yeah, it was. In this case, once I worked out what was going on, I thought all my problems could be solved by a simple conversation or two, explaining the more free-form nature of western sex, and encouraging my partner along the lines of, "You don't have to act a certain way, you can act however you like! You can relax! Enjoy yourself! Doesn't that sound great?" but that was also a failure to understand the Japanese psyche. It's not liberating for a Japanese person to be told there are no rules, it's frightening. I was inadvertently terrorizing my partner by dropping them into the middle of a scary foreign wilderness and telling them to make do without a map.
Me: First of all, westerners don't always shower or have a bath before sex. However, I will try to accommodate you on this because the idea of sex without showering seemed to horrify everyone I talked to right down to their very bones. Secondly, when you suggested that I shower the other day, and I said no, I was not rejecting you. I didn't understand that it was your Japanese signal that you wanted to have sex. If I had understood that, I would definitely have said yes. Seiji: *spits tea all over the table* Me: …this is one of those deeply unspoken Japanese things that I'm not supposed to talk about directly, isn't it. Seiji: Yes.
"...males get round their inferior size by being endowed with a particularly long penis, which means they can inject the female without having to get too close to her chomping beak. The male's sexual organ is actually a bit like a high-pressure fire hose and is normally nearly as long as his body - excluding legs and head."
CalGal -- Saturday, March 29, 2008 -- 04:38:40 PM -- 11814 of 16479
I remember a time, back in the late 90s, when I thought nonsense like this mattered somewhat more than I do now. Now I see well-educated people yammering about the birth control choices of their daughters, or gay marriage, and I think they are morons.