Coffeehouse Politicsrdbrewer -- Friday, April 30, 2004 -- 12:16:08 AM
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Ace is linking to an ASV post about being an asshole with people like clerks and other shoppers because she's fed-up with stupidity and rudeness. Sounds like me.
Two days ago I was in Acedemy buying some sweats. They were having closeouts on many items, and everything was disorganized. I spent about 20 minutes looking before I found a pair of sweat pants I liked. I was double checking the size by pulling open the pants and looking at the tag. At the same time, I had Cingular Wireless on the cell-phone because of a billing screw up.
I never pulled the sweats off the rack. I was just looking inside and feeling the fabric, facing them squarely. I let go for a second to gesture while explaining a point to the Cingular operator. A half-second after I let go, a petite, fast-moving, evil shopping witch walked up and grabbed my sweats and threw them into her cart after a quick look at the size. She was moving off before I could even finish my sentence with Cingular.
I've dealt with plenty of rude people before, but I've never encountered shopping rudeness like that. She should have at least made some pretense of asking me whether I minded her REACHING IN FRONT OF MY FREAKING FACE--or even whether I was "looking at that." You don't reach into someone's space like that. That was like reaching across someone at the dinner table for the salt.
I was speechless. Trying not to lose track of the conversation with Cingular, I looked around in vain for a moment for a store employee, as if telling on the evil, lightening-fast shopping witch with mongoose-like reflexes was going to make a difference.
If I hadn't been focused on the phone, I would have put a stop to it. But she was gone before I could shift gears and focus on her.
Later I saw that she had found the pullover that goes with it. All the reason in the world to be rude as hell, I guess. I should have stolen it out of her cart while she wasn't looking. Take that, evil shopping witch!
Come to think of it, I do have another tale of woe and misery from the shopping arena:
I was at Office Depot. I found a section of an aisle with some product I was looking for. The section was about five feet wide, and I began scanning for the particular thing (probably fax cartridges). To my left, an apple shaped, gravel voiced, crew cut headed office-manager from hell waddled up with her latest trainee (and narcissistic resource) in tow--a very sweet, fearful-looking, and set-upon apprentice, Ms. BoPeep. She was Bob Cratchet to OfficeHag's Scrooge. Ms. BoPeep was being forcibly dazzled by OfficeHag's knowledge of office products, prices, and the proper way to do all things.
She walked up to the section I was searching. I was standing about three feet back. OfficeHag looked at me dismissively, and without breaking stride, she walked right in front of me and turned back toward Ms. BoPeep, parking her nasty ass right in front of my face. (No doubt to further impress young Ms. BoPeep.) There was about eight inches of clearance between my nose and the top of her head. She was looking in the same section and began explaining to Ms. BoPeep what they were looking at. I guess she expected me to wait or move--to just accept her natural superiority.
I opted to wait. About a millisecond.
"Lady, I'm not standing here for my health." Stunned by my incredible rudeness and lack of respect--she was the OfficeHag, after all--she turned and looked at me as if I had slapped her in the face. Flustered, and with as much bravado as she could then muster, she said, "Well . . . , choose then!" (You see, it was all my fault for not having decided what I wanted in between the time she turned the corner and stopped in front of me--4 to 5 seconds. And, of course, such a transgression could not go unanswered in front of Ms. BoPeep.)
Coolly, over-enunciating, I said, "If you'll get out of my way, I will." The obstinance! With a frustrated, porcine grunt, she moved back two steps to the left, turning her back to Ms. BoPeep in the process.
The tiny grin that broke through on Ms. BoPeep's face was priceless. The fright and wide-eyed intimidation were utterly erased. I had pulled back the curtain on the OfficeHag. She was just a particularly unpleasant bully after all.
Same scenario at Borders. I was about the only customer on the second floor. I was pouring over titles in a tiny, three foot wide section. This time, an over-the-top prissy male employee decided that--out of the entire store--it was time to fluff the books in my section. Right in front of my fricking face. I said, "Would you mind moving to another section?"
I mean, how polite can you be about it?
He was visibly upset at my rudness. The nerve of me to actually ask him politely to move to another section! Grunting and sighing at about 120dB, he moved on, jerking like some bratty, scolded and pouting child.
I had something strange happen to me at Walmart. A woman stopped in front of the mop and bucket section, took out a brush and brushed her hair. Seriously.
So I walked up behind her to pick up a bucket I was purchasing when out of the blue she took a step backwards. Bumping into me.
I mumbled an "excuse me" and skedaddled back to my car with my bucket only to turn around and notice her dirty look and head shaking routine.
I was going to say something but I figure anyone who stops in the middle of Walmart to brush her hair is not normal.
Oh, that makes sense Ally. I couldn't for the life of me figure out the stopping quickly and brushing routine. I still think it was rude of her to think I was intrusive when she almost stepped on me in her desire to groom herself.
Okay, I just want to let you know I had to read that twice before I figured out she must have had a hairbrush on her. On the first read I thought she had taken some sort of household scrub brush off the shelf to brush her hair.
I'm either really overtired or have a really low expectation level for behavior at Walmart.
That made me laugh out loud, hah. It wouldn't have surprised me.
That's okay, we were the rude shoppers when we got fixated on these little canister air fresheners that have a scratch n' sniff on them. My son got one to put in his room and they are very nice. I wanted one for my room and of course as always couldn't make up my mind. So we ended up blocking off the air fresheners and pissing off a couple of people. A simple excuse me would have sufficed though. One irritated guy looked at me when I said "scratch n' sniff!" and then proceeded to scratch and sniff them too, so he got the love.
It does sound like some sort of "Starbucks is evil" thread with the current title.
Or, "Well you just know that Brad is gonna let Kath leave early tomorrow and make me stay till closing and wipe down the espresso machine. No doubt it's because she went down on him in the storeroom that one time. Man, as soon as my financial aid comes through I'm quitting."